Blog
Hi, I’m Toeps and I’ve been blogging since 2004. About my adventures, about things I think things about, and about my life as an autistic person. (And between 2012 and 2016 also about the world of models and photography, on my then platform Fashionmilk.com, which you may remember from the top model recaps.)
This blog has brought me many wonderful things: friends and girlfriends, a trip to Disneyland Paris and even a book. These days I mostly write about my life in Japan, where I live.
Autistics should just stay home?
Imagine you’re autistic and you want to go to the Efteling (a famous Dutch theme park). Yes, it can be pretty intense sensory-wise, but your family is going too, and you genuinely love the Efteling. Fortunately, there are facilities you can make use of. For example, you don’t have to stand in long zigzag queues but can wait elsewhere instead. The Efteling also offers a €2 discount on your ticket, or €5 off per month on a subscription. Nice! That could have been the end of this blog. But this is the internet, so of course people are upset.
The unstable Japan life
This morning, while scrolling through X, I saw a rather alarming post. From now on, in order to become a Permanent Resident (PR), you first need to have held a 5-year visa. Previously, a 3-year visa was sufficient – and since that’s most likely what I’ll receive at my next renewal, I had already mapped out a whole plan in my head. As soon as François and I have been married for three years (another requirement you have to meet), I would apply for PR. That would be two years from now. But with this legal change, that will only work if they immediately grant me a 5-year visa this July. And the chances of that are slim.
Matsumoto, then and now
It was such a good idea to go a day early. Look, I’m not great at trips. I need time to adjust, prefer traveling alone, get overstimulated quickly, and sometimes turn into a bit of a monster because of it. Going a day earlier helps prevent most of that. I can arrive at my own pace, do my thing, rest – and the next day I’m just as fresh and cheerful as François, who (what a sweetheart!) got up at 6:30 that morning and then spent three hours on the train from Kawasaki to Matsumoto.
Almost there
The countdown app on my phone says 13. Just 13 days to go until I fly to the Netherlands. “Could you maybe pick me up from Schiphol?” I ask my brother. “My flight is on March 3, so I’ll arrive on March 4…” He corrects me: “No, if you’re flying to the Netherlands, you arrive on the same day, because you’re flying against the clock.” I panic. “Oh, shit! Did I also book my hotel for the wrong…”
Japan 101 – Practical advice
People regularly ask me whether I have any Japan tips – for autistic people, but also in general. That’s why I created this blog series, to help you head off on your trip well prepared. This installment focuses on practical matters: luggage, mobile internet, the language, and money.
Japan 101 – Where to stay
I often get asked whether I have any Japan tips. For people with autism, but also just in general. That’s why I created this blog series, so you can head off well prepared. In this part, I’ll tell you everything about cities and neighborhoods, and different types of accommodation.
Japan 101 – When to travel
I regularly get asked whether I have tips for travelling in Japan — for autistic people, but also more generally. That’s why I created this blog series: to help you head into your trip well prepared. In this part, I’ll tell you everything you need to know about the seasons in Japan.
Japan 101 – From and to the airport
I regularly get asked whether I have tips for travelling in Japan. Specifically for autistic people, but also more generally. That’s why I created this blog series: to help you prepare for your trip to Japan with confidence. We’re starting with part 1: getting to Japan.
Autastic update
Hooray! The first draft of Autastisch leven is finished! That means the book is now with my editor, who will go through it again thoroughly and add comments and suggestions everywhere. After that, I’ll have about two more weeks to make changes: send passages to interviewees for approval, tweak the structure here and there, cut some parts, or expand others.
2016
Happy New Year everyone, and welcome to 2026. Wow, time really does fly. 2016, a year that in my mind is still one of the best years of all time, is already a decade behind us. The day before yesterday I shared a few Instagram stories with photos from that year, after scrolling through the photo album on my phone. “I was so cool in 2016,” I wrote, with a touch of melancholy.
Toeps Rewind 2025, part 2
The year is almost over again, so just like every year it’s time for my year in review! In the previous part, you could read about how François and I tied the knot, how I made a whirlwind trip to the Netherlands, how I worked on the Prikkelplanner, and how I navigated my way through bureaucracy and visa issues. How did things continue? You can read all about it below!
Toeps Rewind 2025, part 1
The year is already coming to an end, so that means: Toeps rewind! Last year ended with my wish to simply take it easy for a while. Just sit behind my computer building websites. So instead, I released a planner together with Cynthia, started writing a whole new book, and oh right, we also got married!
Zero-tolerance at the JLPT
Yesterday I took the JLPT, the Japanese Language Proficiency Test. This Japanese language exam tests vocabulary, grammar, reading, and listening, and is offered at five levels. N5 is the easiest, N1 the hardest. After passing N4 more than a year ago and skipping the exam last year, it was finally time for N3. Was I ready? No, not really. I’d been a bit too busy with my new book and barely had any time to study. But I’d already paid, so I thought: let’s give it a shot. It’s multiple choice, so maybe I’d guess everything right.
A tale of donkeys and tails
A little while ago, my Japanese friend Kei asked if I could help her with something: her ten-year-old daughter Emma had a “world cultures” day at school, and they thought it would be fun to bring along a real foreigner. Meaning: me. And since I still owe Kei my eternal gratitude for everything she helped me with when I moved to Japan (without her I wouldn’t have had electricity, running water, or food during quarantine), of course I said yes.
Autastisch leven pre-order is live, and I’m coming to The Netherlands!
Last week I suddenly had a day where I felt like I had wings. You know, one of those days when you’re inexplicably full of energy – well, actually, I suspect it was just because I was at my office – and you end up ticking off all sorts of tasks. I was at the office, and the day before I’d found a box of fancy-looking felt-tip pens at Off-House. They were 55 yen (about 30 cents) each, so I picked out ten.