Blog
Hi, I’m Toeps and I’ve been blogging since 2004. About my adventures, about things I think things about, and about my life as an autistic person. (And between 2012 and 2016 also about the world of models and photography, on my then platform Fashionmilk.com, which you may remember from the top model recaps.)
This blog has brought me many wonderful things: friends and girlfriends, a trip to Disneyland Paris and even a book. These days I mostly write about my life in Japan, where I live.
Switchings
I always find switching gears difficult. So when I returned to Japan after seven weeks in the Netherlands, I already knew I was going to struggle for a while. I had been doing so well in the Netherlands.
Come together
Over the past two weeks, you gradually heard less from me on social media. My outfits became duller, my hair lost its shine, and my cooking skills were regularly replaced by microwave meals. In short: I was tired. But there was a good reason for that…
Easter egg
Did you know it’s better not to use song lyrics as an epigraph in a book? You’re usually allowed to quote small parts of a text – that’s called the right of quotation – but the quote has to serve a purpose, not just be there for decoration, which makes an epigraph a bit questionable. So when I wanted to include a line from a Taylor Swift song in Autastisch leven, and preferably not have Ms. Billionaire’s legal team come after me, I had to come up with a creative workaround. An easter egg, to stay in Swiftie terms.
My new book Autastisch leven has officially launched!
Hooray, my new book Autastisch leven was officially released yesterday! The book launch last night at bookstore Broese in Utrecht was a big success, but before that…
’tismthedamnweek
What a week. Or actually two, since it’s been a while since my last post on this blog. It was on my to-do list almost every day: write a blog. But other things kept taking priority. Book-related things, mostly.
Workweek
After taking some time last week to land quietly in the Netherlands (not an unqualified success), this week the hard work began: three lectures, three shoots, and a radio appearance. In the meantime, I put the finishing touches on my new book, for which I received two proof copies, and ate pizza with my family for my father’s birthday. And somewhere in between, I even found time to drop off a few Vinted packages.
Culture shock
Yesterday I was waiting for the bus in Delft. The hotel room where I’ll be staying for the next seven weeks has rather ugly lighting, so I had decided to buy a cheap lamp. This one. At Ikea. From The Hague, Delft isn’t far; seven minutes by train. After that, I’d still need to take the bus for another eight minutes. After four years in Japan, I’m so used to excellent public transport that I was surprised there was only one bus every half hour to Ikea. On the weekend, no less. Anyway, I waited twenty minutes for the bus, which was neatly listed on the board at stop I. Another 15 minutes, another 10 minutes, another 2 minutes… And poof! Bus gone. It simply never showed up. The next bus would come in half an hour. Or not – who knows.
Autistics should just stay home?
Imagine you’re autistic and you want to go to the Efteling (a famous Dutch theme park). Yes, it can be pretty intense sensory-wise, but your family is going too, and you genuinely love the Efteling. Fortunately, there are facilities you can make use of. For example, you don’t have to stand in long zigzag queues but can wait elsewhere instead. The Efteling also offers a €2 discount on your ticket, or €5 off per month on a subscription. Nice! That could have been the end of this blog. But this is the internet, so of course people are upset.
The unstable Japan life
This morning, while scrolling through X, I saw a rather alarming post. From now on, in order to become a Permanent Resident (PR), you first need to have held a 5-year visa. Previously, a 3-year visa was sufficient – and since that’s most likely what I’ll receive at my next renewal, I had already mapped out a whole plan in my head. As soon as François and I have been married for three years (another requirement you have to meet), I would apply for PR. That would be two years from now. But with this legal change, that will only work if they immediately grant me a 5-year visa this July. And the chances of that are slim.
Matsumoto, then and now
It was such a good idea to go a day early. Look, I’m not great at trips. I need time to adjust, prefer traveling alone, get overstimulated quickly, and sometimes turn into a bit of a monster because of it. Going a day earlier helps prevent most of that. I can arrive at my own pace, do my thing, rest – and the next day I’m just as fresh and cheerful as François, who (what a sweetheart!) got up at 6:30 that morning and then spent three hours on the train from Kawasaki to Matsumoto.
Almost there
The countdown app on my phone says 13. Just 13 days to go until I fly to the Netherlands. “Could you maybe pick me up from Schiphol?” I ask my brother. “My flight is on March 3, so I’ll arrive on March 4…” He corrects me: “No, if you’re flying to the Netherlands, you arrive on the same day, because you’re flying against the clock.” I panic. “Oh, shit! Did I also book my hotel for the wrong…”
Japan 101 – Practical advice
People regularly ask me whether I have any Japan tips – for autistic people, but also in general. That’s why I created this blog series, to help you head off on your trip well prepared. This installment focuses on practical matters: luggage, mobile internet, the language, and money.
Japan 101 – Where to stay
I often get asked whether I have any Japan tips. For people with autism, but also just in general. That’s why I created this blog series, so you can head off well prepared. In this part, I’ll tell you everything about cities and neighborhoods, and different types of accommodation.
Japan 101 – When to travel
I regularly get asked whether I have tips for travelling in Japan — for autistic people, but also more generally. That’s why I created this blog series: to help you head into your trip well prepared. In this part, I’ll tell you everything you need to know about the seasons in Japan.
Japan 101 – From and to the airport
I regularly get asked whether I have tips for travelling in Japan. Specifically for autistic people, but also more generally. That’s why I created this blog series: to help you prepare for your trip to Japan with confidence. We’re starting with part 1: getting to Japan.