Blog
Hi, I’m Toeps and I’ve been blogging since 2004. About my adventures, about things I think things about, and about my life as an autistic person. (And between 2012 and 2016 also about the world of models and photography, on my then platform Fashionmilk.com, which you may remember from the top model recaps.)
This blog has brought me many wonderful things: friends and girlfriends, a trip to Disneyland Paris and even a book. These days I mostly write about my life in Japan, where I live.
Identification
“Do you actually still identify as a woman?” Roufaida asked me, after we talked about her podcast, which I had also contributed to. Grrrls was the initial name, but now that she had recently interviewed a non-binary person, the name really couldn’t be used anymore. Shortly before, my Instagram app asked me if I wanted to put my pronouns in my bio. “Go away, leave me alone,” I thought. But why did I think that, anyway?
Koreantine
It was the day before Riemer and I went to Disneyland that I decided to try Korea. I had been waiting for Japan for over a year, and it didn’t look like anything was going to change in the near future. And camping in Riemer’s living room, or in hotels in Utrecht even longer didn’t seem like a good idea. So it had to be Korea.
I went to Disneyland Paris with an Autipas (and in the middle of a pandemic)
I had been wanting to go to Disneyland Paris for months, but kept putting it off, “because Japan”. I couldn’t plan ahead, I didn’t dare take the corona risk, or Riemer had to work. But after we did not go in November, “because Japan”, and Japan and Omicron screwed me over again, I was determined: we are going. On New Year’s Eve. That way I would be rid of the Dutch fireworks misery as well.
A nuanced take on the Spectrum 10K study
There’s been a lot going on online recently. An organisation called Spectrum 10K is trying to recruit 10.000 autistic people to get DNA samples from, for an in-depth study of the genetic origins of autism. (Read more about it in this article from Indy100.) Science-y me is immediately interested. I too want to know where […]
The Japanese secret for everything
Recently I was strolling through the book store while waiting for my train, and there I found The Secret For A Long And Happy Life. Or well … I don’t know exactly who to believe. There is the Danish “Hygge”, the Swedish “Lagom”, or “The Way” of the Chinese.
Toeps in Takamatsu: Tour de Hard-Off
While in the Netherlands the corona virus is taking hold, everything is closed and everyone has to stay at home, it is slightly less intense in Japan. Yes, certain things have been closed for weeks. But although everyone suspects the government of lying (because of the Olympics), it actually seems to be not too bad here.
Coming soon: But You Don’t Look Autistic At All!
It’s never the right moment. That’s what they tell people that want to have babies, but are not sure when. I’m talking about another kind of baby: my book, in English! Is this the right moment? Probably not. But I’m doing it anyway.
Flying autistic
For some time now, Schiphol has had green lanyards with sunflowers, for people with autism, or other invisible disabilities. With such a lanyard, employees should know that something is going on with you, so that they can respond in a helpful way to meltdowns or other problems. My first experience with this “service” was during […]
Beware, children playing
Earlier this week I was tagged in a post on Twitter. “OMG, did you see this?!” It was a post of an “autism parent educator”. For a moment I thought it was an “autism parent”, but apparently the two have similarities: they think they know a lot, but they don’t actually listen to people with autism. See the tweet in question below.
I got scammed by a cute vintage shop in Japan
Japan is the safest country in the world. In the Starbucks you can leave your laptop on the table when you go to the toilet, whoever forgets his iPhone in the metro will almost certainly get it back that same day and in the evening I walk home without any fear. Yet I was scammed yesterday. By an extremely sweet-looking girl in a pink dress, with kawaii pins in her hair and a high-pitched voice that makes her sound like a ten-year-old, while she is probably twenty-five.
Autism mum
I see it more and more: articles by, with or about autism mums. Mothers of children with autism. They talk about how difficult their lives are, how they had to readjust their expectations in life, how the system fails them and how they had to fight their own disappointments.
Dutchies, or Begians in Tokyo #5 – Charlotte
The Flemish Charlotte (31) is a pastry chef and chocolatier and until recently worked at a bakery in Harajuku. She ended up in Japan two years ago because of her husband’s work.
Dutchies in Tokyo, or Odawara #4 – Jalisha
For my appointment with Jalisha (25) I have to leave the city. About an hour and a half from Tokyo is Odawara, a place I previously only knew as a transfer station to the nearby onsen villages. (An onsen is a bathhouse filled with volcanically heated water, and because Odawara is so close to Mt. Fuji, there are plenty of onsen resorts nearby.)
Dutchies in Tokyo #3 – Melissa
I met with Melissa (26) in front of Shinjuku station, the busiest station in Tokyo. “Under that big video screen at ALTA.” Shinjuku has never been my favorite station, because I always get lost mercilessly, so I was happy to find the video screen, and then Melissa too.
Dutchies in Tokyo #2 – Nadine and Charissa
Twin sisters Charissa and Nadine (both 28), despite different studies, both ended up in Japan. We meet in Hamarikyu Park, because the view there is so Tokyo: behind the Japanese gardens loom the large glass skyscrapers of Shiodome. The contrast in Tokyo that the sisters love so much is clearly visible here.
Dutchies in Tokyo #1 – Maria
Initially, I had arranged to meet Maria (26) on Odaiba, an artificial island in Tokyo Bay. But when dark clouds gathered over Rainbow Bridge, we decided to move to one of Maria’s other favorite spots: Electric Town Akihabara. We take pictures as the tourists in Mario Karts race behind us, then have a cup of coffee. Although Maria says she only speaks “Japanese for emergencies”, her way of speaking is very Japanese. Her oh’s and ah’s, her hmm’s and so-so-so’s… They betray that Maria is more Japanese than she thinks.